As Clara navigates life with a chronic illness, being a new mother and caring for her patients, she learns first hand how important the way we live and treat ourselves is to both physical and mental health and she shares her experience in this memoir, Doctor, Interrupted.
We chat with Clara to discuss her experience, and find out more about her journey from doctor, to patient... and back again.
Congratulations on the publication of your audiobook, Doctor, Interrupted, Clara. It chronicles a deeply personal journey - can you tell us what inspired you to share your story with readers?
I knew from being a GP that lots of people experienced what I did - chronic illness is epidemic. But I felt I had a unique perspective on facing this condition being both patient and doctor which muddied the waters even more. Despite my medical background, It took me years to accept my diagnosis and I think what I went through in this time will be helpful to this in similar situations.
As an NHS doctor, you were familiar with illness and its many forms. How did your perspective shift when you found yourself on the other side, as a patient, especially with a life-altering condition, Multiple Sclerosis?
I was very much a worse case scenario thinker - that was part of my medical training that I couldn’t separate from as the patient. This fuelled anxiety and uncertainty for me when I considered my prognosis.
How did you initially cope with the diagnosis, especially while on maternity leave?
I buried my head in the sand and focused as much as I could on my son. Keep calm and carry on was my mantra which was fine until symptoms caught up with me, and I hadn’t really been caring for myself in the way I needed to.
Have you found the experience of going from Doctor to patient jarring? What has been the biggest challenge for you, and has it changed your perspective of primary care?
I have been fortunate with my medical team at every step of this process. But I know that isn’t always the case, and feeling unheard by medical professsionals is too common as NHS is under more pressure to care for more with less. Patients always need to speak up and advocate for their own health; if you think your GP isn’t hearing you, try a different doctor or bring someone with you to your appointment who will help advocate for you.
In the book you discuss the moment that you received the diagnosis. Could you share more about what it was like to receive such a diagnosis as a GP - and did it change your understanding of the impact of a diagnosis of chronic illness from a patient perspective?
In the moment I was in disbelief. I talk in the book about all the months leading up to it where it was pretty clear there was going to be bad news but I stayed firmly in denial. I’d always prided myself on having empathy for my patients, but this increased more when I found myself in the patient chair.
Your story touches on the importance of how we live and treat ourselves, both physically and mentally. What changes did you make to your own lifestyle, after your diagnosis, and how have they shaped your current outlook?
Practically, I focus more on eating more mindfully and cooking at home, I try to move everyday, even if it’s only a short walk and I have a daytime nap when I can. I say no to things a lot more, and I’ve worked hard to tackle stress in my life and manage this differently.
Through the process of writing this book I realised how much of my stress was work related and that shaped the last few chapters of my story.
You were a new mum when you received your diagnosis. How did you balance the shock of being told you had MS and managing your condition, with the demand of early motherhood?
My son was a great distraction at that time. I focused on him and baby classes and when he slept I googled and panicked about what my future might be. I can see now I was pretty all over the place internally but on the outside, I just kept going.
How did your diagnosis change your career as a GP?
Initially it didn’t - I returned to the same job and kept going. But as I looked into health, nutrition and lifestyle more, I wanted to offer more to my patients so focused more on private work as well as NHS locum sessions. It was too much for me, but I didn’t see that at the time.
There’s a moment in your book where you realise that the answer to feeling better was within you all along. Could you tell us more about this turning point and what it meant for your healing process?
It was realising that I had the ability to change things. I didn’t have to be defined by my diagnosis or my job title. I had to make changes to improve how I felt in the best way I could - finding a love for writing, an incredible writing group and signing with my agent were huge parts of that process. But those moments aren’t the answer either, it’s the everyday moments that impact how we feel.
What do you hope listeners will take away from your story, particularly those dealing with chronic illness or life-changing diagnoses?
That it’s tough - these conditions are challenging and uncertain by nature and we don’t have to live pretending they are not. Being kinder to ourselves as we navigate this matters, and focusing on how we feel as opposed to the voices of those around you helps. However we can always make changes to improve how we feel when we connect and listen to ourselves, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day.
"Doctor, Interrupted" is available from 24 October 2024 on Audible, and wherever you usually get your audiobooks.
